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Michael Bay Facts

// June 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Personal/Blog News

Awesome.

It seems a successor to the ubiquitous Chuck Norris Facts meme has arisen. The target? Action movie director Michael Bay.

In the wake of the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen movie a stream of Michael Bay Facts has been pouring out of twitter, and as with Chuck Norris Facts, most are hysterical.

Since Michael Bay Facts mock their target rather than revere him (he really is a shitty director, though I loved Transformers: ROTF), and since Michael Bay will never be bad-ass like Chuck Norris, I’m sure this meme will be quite short lived. With that in mind, get them while the getting is good. I see io9 has posted some of their favorites, and I’d like to do the same.

These are some of my favs:

• jbneal: When you fist-pound Michael Bay, your hand literally blows up.
• MattCox: In some states, it’s illegal to say “Michael Bay” in airports or crowded theaters.
• frontierwoman:To clear a hangover Michael Bay straps a grenade to his head and dives headfirst into empty swimming pools.
• burnflores: Michael Bay doesn’t like gum. He chews C4.
• chris7crows: Michael Bay emerged from the womb with a detonator in one hand and a supermodel in the other. His mother then exploded.
• MattCox: Bomb squad was at the library today. Someone returned Michael Bay’s autobiography.
• jpmccu: Michael Bay’s school film project is lost to the world, as it blew up from awesome. The audience ran away in slow motion.
• DJBullock: Michael doesn’t use a camera to film his movies. He burns the movie into the film using the heat of exploding orphanages.
• And possibly my favorite: mrbs: Michael Bay was preceeded down the birth canal by a dove in slow motion. And followed by a column of flame.

It seems Aimee_B_Loved has become the unnoficial queen of #MichaelBayFacts on twitter with a slew of great ones:

• Michael Bay literally fights fire with fire, but insists token minorities do so with clever, urban-sounding comments.
• Michael Bay sleeps on a bed of hot coals and uses bundles of dynamite as pillows.
• As an infant, Michael Bay had to recast his mother because her breasts weren’t big enough for the part.
• Michael Bay uses battery acid as lube.
• Michael Bay purposely edits out “sissy shit” like plot and character development.

And then some people are just Doing It Wrong:

• ABAwesome: There are approximately 94 people in the USA with the name “Michael Bay”
• Flonk2: Michael Bay was adopted.

See my own paltry (at least by comparison) MichaelBayFacts here, and let me know what your favorites are that I’ve missed, or if you think some up on your own, please share them!

The Cat and the Crow

// January 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Books, Movies, Music, and TV, the cool, weird, and funny

This is old, but it is just too adorable for words…

Garfield Minus Garfield is still hysterical… and depressing.

// July 25th, 2008 // 2 Comments » // Art, the cool, weird, and funny

One might think strips from the comic Garfield, with said title character removed, would be a fleeting piece of humor that would quickly get old. Then again, one might find one’s self to be incredibly wrong.

Garfield Minus Garfield consistently makes me do a literal LOL (as opposed to the false LOL where we are actually laughing inside or LI). Underneath the humor, however, is a mixture of sadder emotions. View at least several strips and you may notice it becomes an intensely surreal experience, like the act of removing Garfield peels back a bright and happy layer exposing the intensely lonely life of a desparate, bi-polar middle-aged bachelor.

Dan Walsh has revealed the deeper side of Jim Davis’ art, a side that not even Davis himself realized knew was coming through his work. Walsh has shown us it’s not always about a silly hedonistic cat making a straight man of his owner. It’s about the human condition.

I am reminded of a powerfully insightful quote by the great Robert Anson Heinlein in Stranger in a Strange Land; one that makes me tear up almost every time I recall it:

I’ve found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much… because it’s the only thing that’ll make it stop hurting.

Garfield Minus Garfield makes us laugh because the loneliness and strangeness of Jon Arbuckle’s life hurts us, and may even strike something personal in our own lives.

It’s funny and it’s brilliant, and you should go read some the next time you have a spare moment.

The Website is Down

// July 2nd, 2008 // No Comments » // Books, Movies, Music, and TV, the cool, weird, and funny

I’ve watched and listened to many funny tech support videos and saved phone calls over the years, but even though this one is staged, its one of the funniest I’ve seen in a long long time. I love his Halo/linux/XP multitasking skills. This one is a little long, but every minute of it is golden.

ROFLCON: Lulz From Afar

// April 25th, 2008 // 1 Comment » // the cool, weird, and funny

If you’re like me… then you really need some help, dude. But kidding and warped sense of humor aside, if you’re like me then you a) love internet memes, and b) cannot make it to ROFLCON 2008 *ARRGGG*!

Fear not, dear friends, for you needn’t An Hero nor sit at home alone in the dark all weekend. Instead, you can sit at home alone on the internet, watching live footage and updates and picture from ROFLCON all weekend!!!1SHIFT How fun‽

Sauces include live video from ustream, a flickr pool, twitters, and bright kite. So as not to whore out other’s hard work, go to roflcon.org for the links to these delicious little media morsels.

I’ll be on most of these services as euicho, on and off over the weekend. If you see me on there, say hi!

This is you who tempted her!!!

// April 23rd, 2008 // 2 Comments » // the cool, weird, and funny

This email was forwarded to my department (Network Operations) by a concerned user. Best spam ever? Or best viral horror movie marketing technique ever? You be the judge:

Subject: she has already gone to hospital…

Hello, [name deleted].

Listen to me carefully, i don’t know what your name is, but i’ll find you
and i’ll cripple you, because this is you who tempted her!!!
She has already gone to hospital, you’re next, this is evidence:
[URL deleted as it is some dangerous russian site]

IIIII Just want to tell you how I’m feelin’

// April 2nd, 2008 // 1 Comment » // the cool, weird, and funny

With the rick-roll sweeping the interwobbles, inciting shenanigans and leaving lulz in its wake, I thought I’d school you on its interesting origin!

The rick-roll, like a good 80% of all other hilarious memes on the internet, cometh from teh 4chan.

If you don’t know what 4chan is, you’re lucky. It is the asshole of the internet. Seriously, don’t google it. Don’t… I mean it. Okay, if you MUST, read this [NSFW]:.

Anyway, 4chan is an image board where immature boys, racists, the occasional camwhore, and pervs all go to anonymously discuss all sorts of terrible things. If you’ve ever seen The Aristocrats or know what The Aristocrats is, its pretty much that in web form.

Despite, or perhaps because of, the fact that many unsavory characters roam this website, many memes originate from this pit of despair. The ORLY owl, for example (ORLY came from somethingaweful forums, but not the owl) and all the great 300 macros [NSFW] like “I FORGET WHERE WE ARE DINING TONIGHT” came from 4chan, to name two mild examples.

Now, the Rick-roll is actually the successor to a much less funny trap called the Duckroll, in which a link that seems to point to a post earlier in a thread instead takes you to a video of a duck on wheels (duck + roll = duckroll) with a trippy song. Cute, I know, but not that funny really.

Anon (you do know “Anon” aka “Anonymous” comes from 4chan, don’t you? Yes THAT Anon) took this idea and ran with it, creating something far more infectious by using the amazing 80’s gem “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. Much funnier than a duck on wheels. This became the Rick-roll, and now you know where the “roll” comes from! Now you may go off and rick-roll your friends, smug in the fact that you know the origins of the Rick-roll.

I’d Hit it

// March 22nd, 2008 // No Comments » // Personal/Blog News

If you’ve lurked on any image boards in the past you may have come across the “I’d hit it” or “I’d hit it… with a brick!” image macros. I have seen countless ones myself, however none have made me literally LOL like this one. I don’t know the author, but enjoy:

Durmstrang’s Prize Pupil

// February 25th, 2008 // No Comments » // the cool, weird, and funny

This is an old picture but I just saw it today and HAD to image macro it. Plz imagine it in the standard “Bush” voice for full effect.

Kicking off TMWS Season 5 Old-School!

// January 30th, 2008 // 3 Comments » // Books, Movies, Music, and TV, Personal/Blog News

Damn I’ve been busy. I’m taking 18 credits this semester in an attempt to finish up my history minor and get my second degree done with. I’ve been neglecting the Internet Scrabble Club, which is sad because I do enjoy my scrabble. I’m going to play some tonight though. I also haven’t been climbing in a VERY long time and that makes me quite sad, so I’ll be doing that more in the very near future.

I went up home last weekend to visit with the guys. I didn’t get up there until Saturday evening and left Sunday afternoon, but I still had an awesome time. I’m bummed that I didn’t get a chance to see Jalbey, but I’ll be back up soon.

I hung out with Doody and Jason most of the time… well actually the whole time except for waking my Dad up at 5am making chinese food and eating supper with Amme’s mom and cousin. It was pretty awesome just catching up with them and hanging out. Jason found copies of *almost* all of the season 2 TMWS episodes from back in 2000, and then we found a bunch of intros and skits too! We’re pretty stoked to go through them and sample some funny moments to play in the new season. To celebrate, we called B on google talk and had a show with us all sitting around the old mixer board just like old times. We missed Jalbey though, and the rest of the guys. We’ll get anyone who wants to be into the next shows though. We’ve also revised our recording procedure so that shows will be up within 30 minutes of their recording, which should be every Thursday night.

We’re also going to revamp the TMWS website, as we’re not really “feeling it”, and we’ve set up a youtube account to post videos of our hillarious antics and such. For being a spontanious show with no outline, it came out pretty funny. Download it here, or click the iTunes link on that page to subscribe to the podcast. There is also a URL you can enter into any other podcatcher program you may use. Be warned, however, that this show is VERY explicit, and uses the C-word. Yeah, THAT C-word. Sorry Grammy.